Several years ago I would have been the first to roll my eyes at the idea of food allergies.  I thought, how can a tiny piece of food be so harmful to a young child?  This, of course, was before I saw the reaction in my own child.  Before I saw the flared, bumpy skin, the itchy eyes and the red splotches that came with dairy exposure.  Before I heard the horse voice, the “something’s wrong” cough, saw the puking when Finn was exposed to peanuts.  I get it now.  And although I’m thankful we’ve never had to use his epi-pen, I’m also insanely aware that in a few short years I will send him off to school where I can no longer make sure what’s going into his mouth is safe for him.

I was recently made aware of a 7-year-old girl who died at school due to a peanut reaction.  Daniella Knell, owner of Smart Allergy-Friendly Education, recently posted on AllergyKids about what many parents with allergic children feel.  She shared common anxieties for parents of children with life-threatening allergies, like a peanut allergy.  For those of you in the same boat, I wanted to share pieces of her article.  It certainly made me feel a little more “normal.”

• Will other adults in charge take his/her allergies seriously?
• Will the adults in charge see my child’s allergy as just an intolerance or sensitivity? Do they understand that ‘lactose intolerance’ is NOT the same as a ‘milk allergy’?
• Will the adults understand the difference between a mild vs. serious reaction? An itchy mouth may not mean the need for an epi-pen but multiple systemic reactions just may, ie, itchy mouth, hives, coughing or the obvious, projectile vomiting and/or labored breathing
• Will other adults be too quick to give an epi-pen? It’s always better to be safe than sorry, but these kids can be easily traumatized, especially the younger ones
• Will other adults be too slow to give an epi-pen? It’s a no-win situation, isn’t it?!
• Food exposure in the classroom and the cafeteria; let’s NOT forget the computer keyboards, doorknobs and playground equipment, for those whose children are allergic by ‘touch’
• The emotional toll of being so different, especially for those who have multiple food allergies
• Will my child be forced to sit at a table alone? Will they be able to participate in classroom activities or can they be included? Will there, again, be ingredients in the activities that they can’t touch?
• Will my child be made fun of by his/her classmates? by his/her classmates’ parents?

She goes on to share how these allergy children, and the friends of these allergy children, will most likely grow to be more tolerant and compassionate, certainly more so than many adults when it comes to this issue.  She concludes by thanking those who are helpful, who are kind, who are understanding of this sometimes frustrating, annoying and confusing epidemic:

On behalf of so many parents like myself, THANK YOU.

• Thank you, for your simple kindnesses, such as sending in treats ALL of the children can eat safely. This means a lot to kids who often can’t participate in school activities and bake sales because of their allergies.
• Thank you, for being so understanding as to why accomodations have been made to help keep ALL of our children safe in the classroom. We understand the concessions you have to make in possibly not being able to send in your very favorite treats to share!
• Thank you, for your phone calls late at night and early in the morning to let us know you will be sending in something so that we have time to also send in alternatives for our children.
• Thank you, for your compassion in NOT making fun of our children.

I echo her sentiments.  Thank you to those of you who get it and work with us all in this issue instead of rolling your eyes and thinking we are the “crazy parents!”  Your kindness is heart-warming!